I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
