i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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