I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
