I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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