Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
