Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize