check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
