he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
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You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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