Christians are straight up FREAKS
So drunk its hurt
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
