Non-Jews are for practice
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize