His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
