The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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