i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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