Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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