I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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