Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize