i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize