1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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