You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
