The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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