So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
