I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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