Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
