I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
