She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize