i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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