The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
