Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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