I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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