Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
