so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing