Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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