I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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