I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm both gender and math confused
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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