I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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