yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
