I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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