At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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