New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
