I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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