i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
