Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
