You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
