Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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