chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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