my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize