Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
