you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
