Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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