Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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