tell your sister to shave her snatch
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
