Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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