I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
