Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
