I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize