Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
