Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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