So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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