belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
