It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
