Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
