hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize