"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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