They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
