It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
